A linkedin course saved me 50 hours of therapy.

I was sitting in the bathtub last night when it hit me. I let out an audible, fuck. That's it. It was deeply uncomfortable. And yet, I knew that it was true.

I've felt called to publicly talk about growing - not just in terms of business, but in every aspect of life. Building a career and personal life that you can be proud of, one that brings you deep fulfillment and joy. This has been my own personal journey for the past 10 years, and let me tell you, it was hard fought. I learned my lessons the challenging way. And I am so proud of what it’s become. The reason I love sharing with others is because it just hits different when it comes from someone who's actually been through it themselves. I know we're stronger when we learn together and share the weird, sometimes delusional hacks we use (but probably wouldn't post about online). And honestly, nothing gives me a bigger rush than seeing that lightbulb moment when someone realizes they can do it too - they just needed a better roadmap. And probably some really boring automations and tech tools.

I know my whys: I want other people to grow and feel supported. (Plus, the world needs more creative leaders more than anything right now and I’d love to have a hand in giving more people permission to lead in their own ways.) I want to post to lay groundwork for people outside of my network that might be involved in my next project. And I adore having these conversations and finding other people to have them with. (Okay, that last one might be more my husband's why.)

So WHY CAN'T I POST?

That's when the bathtub moment came in. I'm currently taking my friend Courtney's LinkedIn course to learn how to strategically use the platform to grow my consulting gig and find partners for my next project. She was talking yesterday about "giving value" in content. I realized that every time I post outside of my network, I always work in a way to make it about myself and prove my worth.

None of my career has been given outside gold stars. There are no promotions that come with being your own boss. No accolades to put on a resume outside of "I came, I scaled, I survived." The resume part of linkedin feels like a call out on what I haven’t accomplished, a linear career trajectory with outside forces telling me “atta girl.” Posting about business advice outside of my network that actually knows me pulls out that inner 22-year-old who decided to give retail a go instead of a "legitimate job" and the looks and perceived judgments that came with it. Dammit, I'm still trying to prove myself despite a lot of self-work and therapy to undo it.

I'm golden in my inner circle - but taking it outside? That's a boundary I HATE to cross. What if people think I'm an MLMer selling prefab coaching protocols? What if my entrepreneur friends think going to coffee is going to lead to a sales pitch? What if strangers DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE?

Phew. The inner child/ego is tricky, y'all. I noticed in all my "public" posts, I have to bring it back to me. Where's the value there? I realized that the quality of what I write and the advice I give should speak for my track record. I have to let go of handholding my advice all the way to the recipient to ensure they know it's good and pious. We are all grownups here that can make weighted opinions on who we take advice from.

This breakthrough has given me so much clarity on why I'm so viscerally opposed to sharing tidbits publically. It's not easy to face these deep-seated fears and insecurities, but I know that the areas in my life I'm most resistant to are typically the ones that bring me the most growth. So, I woke up and wrote 13 posts. I personally think they are all valuable. Will I actually hit "publish"? Time will tell. But for now, I'm celebrating this moment of self-discovery and the courage to keep pushing through my comfort zones. Because that's what growth is all about, right? Even when it’s lessons you thought you put away years ago.

You can subscribe here :) I’d love to occupy space in your inbox!

OK hard switching gears here/ random things we need to discuss:

• I’m an astrology gal as many of you know. Today (Sept 17th) we have a first in a series of lunar eclipses in Pisces. It can signify a start of a new chapter from now lasting until 2027. The astrology right now and going into next year is SO fascinating, I usually default to Chani Nicholas’ view on the planets if I’m not working one on one with an astrologer (ok, fine, I did it one time but I want to manifest doing it more so felt good to say : ) )

• Today is my 13th wedding anniversary (yes, we were babies) I rarely talk about relationships because they are so personal and I don’t believe there is anything even close to blanket advice in that subject matter but I wanted to share what I think has been so helpful for us. We always stay in a beginners mind/ don’t romanticize life on the other side of whatever we are going through in that moment.

  We keep 2 mindsets top of mind:

  • 1. always try to stay in “we are just getting started” (after every win/ move/ pivot/ truly anything positive we say “and we are just getting started”- i love it because it opens up to I can’t wait to see this get bigger and more fun and moves away from well this just happened once and maybe nothing exciting will ever happen again so we need to hoard this energy")

  • 2. always try to avoid “if then when” (for example: once the kids are out of diapers, life will be so much easier etc etc. with each phase of life there are new challenges and it’s much easier to meet them head on when you don’t think they are going to be smooth sailing)

Happy Eclipse season my friends. I hope magical blessings fall into your lap and you know they are just getting started :)

Thanks for reading victoria winter ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.