In Gratitude

The really fun thing about having this writing practice is it gives me a pulse on what I am truly most compelled to share each week-ish. Not having a niche/theme and not having to source out materials that fill that niche keep me very honest with myself. I can’t simply say “it’s time to write about business news/ mindset hacks/ astrology/ AI/ whatever I’m really in deep in on the moment (usually a mixture of all aforementioned)” and then fill the buckets to hit send. I check in and say “what do I really feel like reflects where my mind has been.” Sometimes it’s light and talking about my rose bushes. Sometimes it’s heavier- talking about the forever changing dance of knowing when you are being “too much” and when you are being “not enough.” Sometimes it’s just round ups of my favorite things I’m using/ reading/ watching/listening. I highly recommend anyone struggling creatively or feeling a little distant from themselves to give a public writing practice a shot. It’s like a cold plunge for the mind. It’s deeply uncomfortable to gather thoughts you feel are important, make them somewhat tangible, and put them out in the world but it always gives me that boost of energy that surges when you know something is going to be hard but you do it anyway. And maybe one day I will stop feeling like I need to write these disclaimers that I am not a “real” writer and these are just my thoughts. Maybe.

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Right now I am very in deep on facts vs stories and the relationship with have with our own consciousness. Keeping it light, ya know? The articles and newsletters I am consuming the most of our ones about the future of work (if you too are interested in dissecting that for the love please slide into my DMs because its my current favorite topic) and what algorithms are doing to our perceptions of reality. I started reading about the data behind social media/ algorithms from the lens of parenting but it quickly shifted to the adult relationships. I’m very much a “put your oxygen mask on first” kind of a gal.

While the world could not feel heavier in the moment (please don’t take that as an ask to turn the dial up, universe) I can’t tamp down a huge feeling of hopefulness. Now I am not speaking about hopefulness in who will win politics- I actually feel very nervous about people putting so much faith in very divisive buckets but that’s a conversation for another letter. I think my hopefulness stems from keeping a pulse on what is a fact and what is a story. I attended a retreat earlier this year that unpacked the powerful theme of facts vs stories and am now in an experimental group focused on how to take that work into a larger arena. I’ve been able to weave the work into the most minute stories in life (I think doing the “work” is most powerful when we focus it on the micro moments of life instead of the huge life shifting moments). Everytime I feel the floors in the bathroom buckle up a little bit more, I change that narrative of annoyance and some dread about how much it’s going to cost when the time comes to replace the floors to one of gratitude for the quirks that come with living in my beloved charming 1950s ranch. The fact is old houses (especially near the water) require more maintenance, the story is that its not worth it.

This is where the really beautiful side of this work comes in. The less I sit in the stories, the more gorgeous the facts are. And it shines so brightly on whatever I am transforming at that moment. When I start thinking about why it’s worth it despite whatever challenges it may bring. Using my house example- everytime I start thinking about how much I love it despite its “flaws” (smaller, buckly floors, no separate kid space, absolutely 0 storage, some sort of humidity issue under the house that plaques my husband constantly) the more I appreciate it. I even drive past it sometimes just to drive back by and say “damn that’s a cute house that looks EXACTLY like me.” She’s far from perfect but I love her all the same, how can I not notice that for so long?

This month I have been amping up my gratitude practice to help counter balance the time we find ourselves in history. The narrative of the world is very real and very intense and easy to get lost in the stories that come around heavy facts. But what can come from reading about things that are happening in the world, things that are predicted, etc is that it puts us in a perpetual “get set” mode. The opinions and media of the world say “on your marks, get set” and fill in the blanks on whatever they believe (or simply want you to believe) is coming around the bend. The reality is our “GO!”’s don’t typically have a singular jumping off point. Even with huge, life changing events like the pandemic, it was a slow trickle into the fact the world was changing. We have to make sure we are looking at our current, positive reality with as wide of eyes as we are with what we negatively think is coming. I have a goal of writing down what I am grateful for every day for a month without repeating. I’m only on day 7 and it’s already brought so many treasures that keep me rooted in the now, I highly recommend.

Here are some of my favorites so far:

• The lovely random wonderful texts that pop up on my phone. I LOVE when people I haven’t heard from in a while (or even the ones I hear from always) send me a book/ podcast/ meme/ tiktok that they said made them think of me or that I would find interesting. It’s my favorite kind of hug. Feeling seen in even the silliest of ways. My sis always sends me this one and it never stops making me laugh. Gratitude for even though phones can be so damn annoying and bring a myriad of issues, having those little moments from friends makes it worth it.
• My husband’s body language and facial expressions always betray him. Poor guy can’t hide a lie, a bad day, a stressor even when he wants to. It’s written all over his face. But the best part is when this happens when he’s really excited about something, even the most mundane things. Like above mentioned humidity issue under the house being under control. He keeps the monitor in the drawer and when he opens it and it says normal humidity level his eyes get a little crinkly and his shoulders drop just slightly. Gratitude for knowing someone so long and still not being able to hold in a smile when I see the way his eyes sparkle when he’s in the zone.
• Kid’s amazing healing properties. My youngest got a gnarly slice on his leg Monday requiring 6 stitches and it’s already well healed. A much needed reminder of how amazing our bodies are and what they can do. Gratitude for cellular turnover and the power of belief systems children have that everything is going to be ok.

I’m excited to keep turning over the rocks of my stories and find the positive root facts and I’d love if you joined me :) (I’m doing this on a less fun level too in where I have to hold myself accountable in where I am perpetuating stories of where I am the victim when in reality I was a player as well but the gratitude one was much lovelier to write about)

Much love

Victoria