Style inspo via Brene Brown?

I truly don’t know if its law of attraction (modernly known as the law of the algorithm) or a collective shift, but a majority of what I have been reading and basis of conversations I’ve been having recently is what’s going on with the internet RN.

Let us start this story here: Over the past few months, I have been very intentional about changing my instagram habits. I moved the app from it’s position it has lived in for over a decade (?????) on my home screen which has lead to many more moments that mirror that feeling you get when you walk into a room and entirely forget the purpose you entered for. I find myself frequently staring at my phone wondering why I have it in my hand. Next up is upon entry of the app, I immediately change the view to “following” so I see first my friends personal and business posts plus accounts I have chosen to follow. It suits my hype girl persona quite nicely. I love seeing the posts that I know people worked very hard on that haven’t been pushed to be viewed as much and give them that double tap of a high five. It also gives me a sense of a finish line. When I catch up to a post that I have already seen, I can wrap up my scrolling. This might sound like a silly, small habit to reframe, but as someone who has spent the better part of 5 years reshaping habits- I have come to realize that the devil really is in those details. It’s those tiny things that really reshape your day. Moving the wine from the counter to the cabinet above the fridge after I’ve poured the one glass I wanted to enjoy while cooking so I don’t mindlessly top it off. Organizing all of my book marks on my home screen in order of my flow of what I check to start my day (currently: Gmail (personal, day job, side job) → Shopify → Dash Hudson → Business Banks → Analytics). Dictating over typing and then getting Chat GPT to organize my thoughts. Unsubscribing to 5 email lists a day. Delegating tasks to Duckbill that I don’t absolutely have to do and will take more that 5 minutes of my time. Just to give a little overview of the little things that I find have had profound shifts in my day.

Which brings us to Brene. When I was doing my “following” catch up scroll, a Brene Brown post popped up about Fort Lonesome. A long time sucker for embroidery and a fantastic button up, I had to click to learn more. After some really fun rabbit holing on their work, and sadly (but also respect) learning they were out of my current price per garment budget, my mind shifted back to Brene. Where had she been?? I haven’t seen here pop up for a while on socials? For the past few years “Brene” had become a household name for those of us in the flux of (to quote Brit) “not quite a girl and not yet a woman.” A guidepost for talking about feelings in an empowered way. Vocalizing boundaries. Validation that this phase of life is bumpy and shifty and yet oh so wonderful. I don’t hang on her every word but I find a lot of value in her viewpoint. Her parenting manifesto has been read on those hard motherhood days countless times and has yet to not produce at least one tear. So where is she? Did something happen? A scandal I missed?? So back to Brene’s IG I went to investigate. I found that I wasn’t missing something. She had taken a whole year off of posting on insta! Her online homecoming post was linked to a quintessential Brene style article explaining the why behind her absence. She had been caring for her (recently passed) mother during her battle with dementia for the past 4 years and simultaneously having an online life. The latter of which she couldn’t continue with last year. As Brene explains, living with something so heart wrenching as seeing a loved one grapple an evil disease coinciding with the petty cesspool that many online post comment sections tend to become was too much to hold simultaneously. She couldn’t keep her thick skin when the trolls came with all of their opinions in tow as she had been able to in the past. She took a pause. She regrouped. And after coming up for air she realized:

“People are hard but, damn — there are so many folks doing such amazing awkward, brave, and kind things in the world. If you pay attention, it’s enough to make your heart go wild.”

I’ve been feeling this distinct shift that popular online media has become a bit oversaturated and in those times, those that yell the loudest are the only ones heard. I hear more and more people saying they are leaving social media which I fully support if that feels right for you. I personally don’t want to give it up, I get a ton of value from people online. The access to so many perspectives and view points and art forms feels magical at times (When mindfully consumed- Hence all of my aforementioned guardrails.) In the conclusion of the article, Brene announced she is making her own online community that her team can moderate. She aims to create a safe space for people to share the “awkward, brave, kind” things in their lives. The section is even called the ABK edit to show her dedication to those 3 adjectives. I left my rabbit hole outlined above with more hope (and dare I say excitement??) about that online world. Knowing thought leaders like Brene aren’t leaving the internet sharing space completely, they are just getting creative and putting it more in their control. I’m anxiously awaiting what the next version of online life will look like and I feel very confident 2024 will be the year we see some cool and interesting shifts.

Misc:

Speaking of my love embroidery, I found this family of amazing designers on Etsy. The women are currently residing in New Jersey after fleeing Afghanistan a few years ago and are rebuilding their lives here. I just got my sweatshirt in and haven’t taken it out. I love when one thing can check a lot of boxes. A good consumer moment, a feel good contribution about where my money is going, AND a perspective shift in one. This is the one I snagged but I have my eye on this one and this one next.

I read this article about whales coming out of the ocean, becoming land mammals, and then turning tf around and become sea creatures again and it really summed up December and January for me.

I can’t really finger point why this tiktok from the Mayor of Boston riding along with a teacher to highlight her commute stuck with me all week. I think it was the sheer normalcy of the Mayor and teacher, the lack of a need for what the video was highlighting being so explicitly spelled out for us, and the ease of the storytelling. Bracing for impact of election season, this is an online trend I would happily get behind.

I am 4 interviews deep on an 8 part (but maybe more because of just how much joy its sparking for me) combo podcast/ newsletter series highlighting the stories of people I find wildly fascinating. Everyday people doing things that are unique (dare I say awkward, brave, or kind?). I cannot wait for y’all to share more.

That’s all I got for this week friends! Wishing you an easy week filled with some lovely conversations.

Victoria

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