You teach people how to treat you.

As a girl with many, many on liners in my my tool box, this is one I reach for very often.

Let me explain.

I was meeting with a CEO of a large company that had scaled rapidly. Over coffee, we were hashing out major issues and strategizing creative solutions. Throughout our meeting, her phone kept lighting up non-stop. I finally had to interrupt and ask, "Do you need to get that? Is there some sort of emergency?" She explained it was the warehouse—they were having bathroom issues. I pressed further, "And they're texting you about it? Don't you have a communication platform set up?" She admitted they have Slack, but no one likes to use it or uses it properly. When I asked how often she uses it, she sheepishly replied, "Oh, never. I hate apps like that. I'm not good with tech like you."

"That's the problem we need to address today," I insisted. "If you can't lead by example in how you want the company to communicate and what protocols you want to follow, no one is going to take it seriously."

We teach people how to treat us.

You have to actively instruct through your actions, not just your words. You must be the teacher in how you want people to respect your communication boundaries. Show people that you want your life—and theirs—to flow more easily by creating better solutions, even though it requires a mindset shift and habit changes from you yourself.

Here’s another meeting I had this week:

A friend of mine was thinking about expanding her business to a second location. She has small kids and was very nervous about doubling her stress by doubling her business. I told her she had to stop seeing it as she would be duplicating what she does now. She had to give herself a promotion in this transition. She couldn’t just operate as X the owner/ wearer of all the hats/ doesn’t need to delegate bc she technically can do it all gal everyone knows and loves. She had to start becoming the CEO. But she couldn’t just start saying it and pray everyone took it seriously. She had to start telling herself NOW that she was the CEO. Operating under the lens of “is this what a CEO would do or could I delegate this?” Even if the delegation isn’t done today, making notes of the things she would like to transfer to another person when the time comes. She had to start teaching others (including herself) by her actions that she WAS the CEO. When you work for yourself- no on is coming to give you a promotion or a title change (or an attaboy for that matter.) One of my favorite mindset hacks is giving myself and my team new titles when we need to uplevel. Even if it’s just a change on your email signature line- it feels like an easy way to grow into a new role on your own. Doesn’t have to be a big announcement or with fan fare (even though my Aries/ Leo/ Manifestor identity LOVES dramatic fanfare from time to time.) Teach people how to treat you at your own pace. But the key is you have to do it. Consistently. Because probably after the 100th time of introducing yourself as the CEO of XYZ, people will start treating you as such.

Easy, relevant example all modern creatives can probably relate to today:

My phone is filled with texts from clients and friends sending variations of the same message: "Our social reach is tanking. It's affecting sales. I don't know what to do???"

I respond, "When was the last time YOU engaged with your followers? I'm talking about setting aside 30 minutes a day to support their posts. Engage with and support the people whose engagement and support you want."

This does NOT mean commenting on a customer's post with "This vacay looks fab, looks like you'd love our style!" Shoppers are far too savvy for that these days, and the insincerity is palpable.

Instead, it looks like, "Aw, we're feeling those first-day-of-school vibes over here too!" We're not selling; we're showing people that we're human too. We see them as more than just transactions. We want them in our community, and we want to be part of theirs. We're teaching them how we'd like to be treated in return.

But here's the thing: It might never be reciprocated, and that's okay. Sometimes the lesson is teaching YOURSELF how to treat you. It's about pushing your comfort zones to actively create the life you're looking for. Not from a place of lack—we don't do lack over here. But from a place of, "Hmm, this is how I would LOVE for people to show up for me." It's often the little things, like spending 10 more minutes sharing love on Instagram, that plant seeds for a bigger impact in unexpected ways.

I’d love to know your thoughts and if you have any unique ways of teaching people how to treat you

Much love from my outdoor sofa on my back deck in South Carolina where we are experiencing a cool front that is making me deliriously excited for fall!!!!

Victoria

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